23 things youll only understand if you fucking hate mayo


You can never have too much mayo.

The mayonnaise is an oil-in-water emulsion condiment, which originated from Spain.The word mayonnaise was not used to refer to this sauce until the late 18th century. It is commonly used as a spread on sandwiches and as a salad dressing. Mayonnaise is made by whisking egg yolks, vinegar, and oil together until thick.

You put mayo on everything.


Mayonnaise is one of those things that you either love or hate. There’s no in-between. And if you hate mayo, there are certain things that you just don’t understand about people who love it. Here are 23 of those things:

  1. Why do you put mayo on everything? Seriously, everything. Hamburgers, sandwiches, salads… nothing is safe from this condiment horror.
  2. And why is it always Hellman’s? Is there some sort of unspoken rule that says this is the only acceptable brand of mayo?
  3. The smell alone is enough to make you want to vomit. How can anyone stand to be near this stuff, let alone eat it?
  4. The texture is gross. It’s slimy and smooth and just plain wrong.
  5. It’s so fatty and unhealthy. Mayo is basically nothing but eggs and oil, which means it’s terrible for you. Worse than butter, even!
  6. It ruins perfectly good food. A perfectly good hamburger becomes a greasy, gross mess with mayo on it.
  7. Have you ever actually tried to eat a spoonful of mayo? It’s disgustingly sweet and tangy and just plain wrong.
  8. The fact that it’s made from raw eggs freaks you out. How can anyone trust that the eggs haven’t gone bad?
  9. You can’t even pronounce half of the ingredients on the list: soybean oil, xanthan gum, calcium disodium EDTA… what the hell are these things?
  10. It’s so hard to get rid of once it gets on something… like your clothes or your carpet or your furniture. It just stains everything!
    11
    You have to have mayo with you at all times.
  11. You have to have mayo with you at all times.
  12. You never know when you’ll need it.
  13. You always have backup mayo in case of emergencies.
  14. You’ve been known to carry a jar of mayo around with you in your purse/ backpack.
  15. You know that mayo is the perfect condiment for everything.
  16. You’ve been known to eat straight from the jar.
  17. You put mayo on everything, even things that don’t traditionally go with mayo (I’m looking at you, pizza).
  18. Your friends and family are always asking you formayo recommendations.
  19. They also know not to come to you for anything else food related because they know you only like one thing… and that’s mayo .
    10 .You’re sick of people telling you that “mayo is gross” or “mayonnaise is disgusting.”
    11 .What even is mayonnaise supposed to be, anyway? It’s just a mystery to you.
    12 .But honestly, who doesn’t love a good mystery?
    13 .You’ve tried all the different brands of mayonnaise and you have your favorite (it’s Hellman’s, by the way).
    14 .But really, any brand of mayonnaise is good in your book.
    15 .You don’t discriminate when it comes to your beloved condiment.
    16 .Although, you will admit that flavored mayos are getting a little out of hand… wasabi mayo? Really? C’mon now .
    You’re always the one responsible for bringing the mayo to parties.
  20. You’re always the one responsible for bringing the mayo to parties.
  21. You never have any condiments in your fridge because you hate them all.
  22. Trying new things is a no-go because you know you won’t like them.
  23. Your friends are always asking why you hate mayo so much.
  24. You have to force yourself to eat it when it’s on sandwiches.
  25. And even then, you pick all the mayo off afterwards.
  26. You feel physically sick when you see people eating it straight from the jar.
  27. The smell of it makes you want to vomit.
  28. You can’t go near a jar of mayo without gagging.
  29. Seeing people put it on their food grosses you out big time.
  30. You get extremely anxious when someone asks if you want mayo on your sandwich/burger/etc.
  31. And you definitely don’t trust anyone who says they like mayo…
  32. …because they’re clearly disturbed and not to be trusted with anything else in life either.
  33. Mayo pies are the worst thing in the world as far as you’re concerned.
    15., 16., 17., 18., 19., 20., 21., 22., 23.”
    You’ve been known to eat mayo straight from the jar.

    Mayonnaise is one of those things that you either love or hate. There’s no in-between. You either enjoy the taste of this creamy, white condiment or you can’t stand it.

If you fall into the latter category, then you’ll definitely be able to relate to these 23 things:

  1. You’ve been known to eat mayo straight from the jar.
  2. And you’re not ashamed to admit it.
  3. In fact, you actually kind of enjoy it.
  4. The smell of mayo makes your stomach turn.
  5. The thought of eating a sandwich with mayo grosses you out.
  6. The only time you’ll ever eat a sandwich with mayo is if someone else makes it for you and there’s no other option.
  7. You always make sure to check the ingredient list on food packaging before buying anything, just to make sure there’s no mayo in it.
    8
    You’ve never understood the hate for mayo.

    Mayonnaise is one of those things that you either love or hate. There’s no in-between. Mayo haters will go to great lengths to avoid the condiment, while mayo lovers can’t get enough of it.

If you fall into the latter camp, then you’ll definitely understand the following 23 things:

  1. You add mayo to pretty much everything.
  2. People give you weird looks when you do this.
  3. But you don’t care, because mayo makes everything better.
  4. Especially fries. Fries + mayo = heaven.
  5. You’ve been known to eat mayo straight from the jar on occasion.
  6. Or just use your finger as a dipping tool…
  7. You know that Miracle Whip is not the same as mayo, and you’re not happy about it.
  8. In fact, Miracle Whip is basically your enemy.
    9
    You’ve had to defend your love of mayo to haters.
  9. You know that mayo is so much more than just an condiment.
  10. You’ve had to defend your love of mayo to haters.
  11. You’ve been asked if you really need that much mayo on your sandwich.
  12. People give you weird looks when they see you eating a spoonful of mayo.
  13. You don’t understand why everyone hates mayonnaise so much.
  14. You’ve been told that you’re ” ruining ” a perfectly good sandwich with too much mayonnaise.
  15. People have even accused you of being a “mayo-holic.”
  16. You’re not afraid to admit that you love the taste of mayonnaise straight from the jar.
  17. In fact, you think it’s one of the most versatile and delicious ingredients out there.
  18. You get seriously annoyed when people refer to mayonnaise as “gross” or “disgusting.”
  19. You know that mayo can actually be healthy, despite what some people say.
  20. You’ve had to explain to people that there’s a big difference between Miracle Whip and real mayonnaise.
    13,14, & 15.You’re always down for a good version of deviled eggs, potato salad, or coleslaw… as long as there’s plenty of mayo involved, of course.
    16,17, & 18 .Despite what some people think, you know that tuna salad, chicken salad, and egg salad are all infinitely better withmayo in them .
    19 . In your opinion, there’s really no such thing as ” too much mayo .”
    20 . Over time , you’ve learned to just ignore the haters and enjoy your beloved condiment in peace .
    21 . After all , at the end of the day , it’s your life… and you’ll eat as much damn mayo as you want!
    22 . Bon appetit!
    You’ve been asked if you “really need that much mayo.”

    If you’re one of those people who can’t stand mayo, you know that it’s not just a sandwich spread — it’s a way of life. Here are 23 things you’ll only understand if you fucking hate mayo.
  21. You’ve been asked if you “really need that much mayo.”
  22. You’ve had to defending your mayo-hating ways to people who just don’t understand.
  23. You’ve been told that you “just haven’t had good mayo.”
  24. You’ve been offered more than one kind of mayo in an attempt to convert you.
  25. You’ve had to explain that no, Miracle Whip is not an acceptable substitute for mayo.
  26. You’ve had to bite your tongue when people ask if you want mayonnaise on your sandwich/burger/wrap/etc.
  27. You’ve had to order your food without mayonnaise, only to find out that they put it on anyway.
  28. You’ve had someone tell you that you “don’t know what you’re missing.”
  29. You’ve had to pass on the potato salad at picnics and potlucks because it’s loaded with mayo.
  30. You’ve experienced the joy of finding a mayo-free potato salad (or other dish) at a picnic or potluck.
  31. You’re always the odd one out when everyone else is putting mayonnaise on their sandwiches/burgers/wraps/etc.
  32. People always assume that you don’t like tuna salad because it has mayo in it (when really, it’s just themayo).
    13
    You don’t care if mayo is “calorie-dense” or “unhealthy.”
  33. You don’t care if mayo is “calorie-dense” or “unhealthy.” All you know is that it’s gross and you want nothing to do with it.
  34. You have no idea how people can eat mayo straight out of the jar. How is that even physically possible?
  35. Every time you see someone eating a sandwich with mayo, you die a little bit inside.
  36. Mayo makes you want to vomit just thinking about it.
  37. The smell of mayo makes you gag.
  38. You would rather starve than eat a sandwich with mayo on it.
  39. The thought of accidentally ingesting even the tiniest amount of mayo makes your skin crawl.
  40. You have friends who love mayo and you just don’t understand them. How can they not see how gross it is?!
  41. You have been known to avoid restaurants because you know they’ll probably have mayo somewhere on the menu.
  42. You once had a nightmare where you were force-fed a jar of mayo and it was torture.
  43. You have strong opinions on which condiments are acceptable to put on a sandwich (hint: MAYO IS NOT ONE OF THEM).
  44. People who put mayo on their sandwiches are basically monsters in your eyes.
    13 Mayonnaise is basically the devil incarnate and you will never understand why people like it so much.
    14 If you ever see someone eating a sandwich with mayonnaise, you will give them the dirtiest look imaginable until they put it down/throw it away/die
    You know that mayo is the best condiment.
    Mayo is a thick, creamy sauce made from eggs, oil, and vinegar. It’s used as a condiment or spread on sandwiches and burgers, as well as in salads and dips. Many people believe that mayo is unhealthy because of its high fat content, but it actually contains many shows some health benefits.
    You’ve been called a “mayo-holic.”
  45. You’ve been called a “mayo-holic.”
  46. You can’t stand the smell of mayonnaise.
  47. The Hellman’s commercials make you want to vomit.
  48. You have to hold your nose when you make tuna salad.
  49. You refuse to eat anything that contains mayo, even if it’s just a tiny bit.
  50. People always ask you if you’re sure you don’t want any mayo on your sandwiches/burgers/wraps, etc.
  51. You have to explain to people that mayonnaise is not an essential condiment and that there are other options out there.
  52. When people find out you hate mayo, they always say something along the lines of, “How can you hate something that tastes so good?”
  53. Your hatred for mayonnaise has led to some awkward moments, like when you accidentally took a bite of someone else’s sandwich because you thought there was no mayo on it…only to realize too late that there was in fact a substantial amount of mayonnaise slathered on the bread. Whoops!
  1. You have zero tolerance for anything remotely related to mayonnaise, including Miracle Whip, aioli, and tartar sauce (which is basically just flavored mayo, let’s be real).
    You don’t think mayo is gross or “disgusting.”

    You think mayo is one of the most gross and disgusting things on the planet. The texture, the smell, the flavor, everything about it repulses you. Just thinking about it makes you want to vomit.

You have no idea how anyone can eat mayo, let alone enjoy it. In your opinion, it is one of the vilest things that has ever been created and you will never understand how anyone can stomach it.

You’ve been accused of ” ruining” dishes with your mayo.

  1. You’ve been accused of “ruining” dishes with your mayo.
  2. You’ve been told that you’re “not a real foodie” because you don’t like mayo.
  3. You’ve had people try to trick you into eating dishes by telling you there’s no mayo in them.
  4. You know that the only thing worse than mayo is Miracle Whip.
  5. Seeing mayo makes you physically nauseous.
  6. The smell of mayo makes you want to vomit.
  7. You can’t even stand the sight of mayonnaise jars in store aisles.
  8. You have to leave the room when someone is making a sandwich with mayo.
  9. You’ve had arguments with people over whether or not Miracle Whip is actually mayonnaise… and you still don’t know who’s right.
  10. People always assume that you must love tuna fish sandwiches, since they’re usually made with mayo… but you hate tuna fish too!
  11. Your friends and family are always trying to get you to eat dishes that contain mayo, even though they know you hate it… and they just end up wasting food because you won’t touch it.
    12
    You don’t care if people think you’re “weird” for liking mayo.
  12. You don’t care if people think you’re “weird” for liking mayo.
  13. In fact, you love that people think you’re weird for liking mayo.
  14. It’s just so damn delicious.
  15. You will never understand why anyone would put ketchup on a burger when they could put mayo.
  16. Mayo is the only condiment you need in life.
  17. Ketchup is a close second, but only because it goes so well with fries.
  18. If given the choice, you would much rather have mayo than ketchup any day of the week.
  19. You are always disappointed when you go to a restaurant and they don’t havemayo .
  20. Or when they do have mayo, but it’s not good quality mayo .
  21. You know that there is a big difference between good quality mayo and bad quality mayo .
  22. And you will never understand why some people can’t tell the difference.
  23. You would gladly eat mayonnaise straight out of the jar if nobody was watching.
  24. And sometimes you do eat it straight out of the jar when nobody is watching…
  25. …or maybe even when people are watching, who cares?
    15.,You are constantly trying to convince your friends and family to trymayonnaise , but most of them are just too scared to try it.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!
    16.,You know that there are so many different ways to eat mayonnaise , and you love all of them equally.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!17.,Mayonnaise is the best food invention ever, and you will fight anyone who disagrees with you.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!18.,Some people say that mayonnaise is “too rich”, but you just don’t get it.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!19.,They just don’t understand what they’re missing out on.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!20.,If given the choice, you would much rather have a sandwich with mayonnaise than without.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!21.,In fact, you can’t even imagine a sandwich withoutmayonnaise .’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!22.,You have been known to add an extra layer of mayonnaise to your sandwiches, just because.’t get why anyone wouldn’t like it!23.,And at the end of the day, you really just don’t understand how anybody could hate something as amazing asmayonnaise .
    You know that mayo makes everything better.

    But you just can’t stand the stuff. It’s too rich, too thick, and just plain gross. You’ve tried to like it, you really have. But every time you take a bite of a sandwich with mayo, you just can’t help but make a face.

Here are 23 things you’ll only understand if you fucking hate mayo:

  1. The first time you had a sandwich with mayo, you were probably grossed out by how thick and gloppy it was. But then someone told you that mayo makes everything better, so you gave it another try.
  2. And for a while, you were convinced that they were right. Mayo does make everything better… except for the fact that you still can’t stand the stuff.
  3. You’ve tried to like it, reallyyou have. But no matter how many times you eat it, you just can’t get over the texture/taste/smell of mayo.
  4. Every time someone offers to put mayo on your sandwich, you have to fight the urge to dry heave.
  5. And when they do put it on your sandwich without asking, you try not to think about all the germs that are now on your food…
  6. …because let’s be honest, mayo is basically just glorified slime.
  7. Whenever you see someone eating a sandwich with loads of mayo, you can’t help but judge them a little bit.
  8. In your opinion, anyone who enjoys eatingmayois seriously twisted and needs to get their priorities in check
    9
    You’ve been known to sneak mayo into places where it’s not allowed.
  9. You’ve been known to sneak mayo into places where it’s not allowed.
  10. You’ve considered Aioli to be a condiment for the weak.
  11. You think “mayonnaise” is French for “disgusting gloop”.
  12. When someone asks if you want some mayo with your sandwich, you barely restrain yourself from punching them in the face.
  13. You can never understand why anyone would want to eat a sandwich without mayo.
  14. Mayonnaise is the reason you haven’t eaten a salad in years.
  15. The thought of eating a mayonnaise-based dish makes you Want To Vomit™.
  16. Mayo-haters are always surprised to learn that you actually like the taste of mayonnaise, you just hate what it does to food.
  17. You have a love/hate relationship with tuna sandwiches – they’re delicious, but they’re also 70% mayonnaise.
  18. The only thing worse than plain mayonnaise is flavoured mayonnaise e.g., garlic mayo, herb mayo, etc.
    11
    You’ve gotten into arguments with people over the merits of mayo.
    You’ve gotten into arguments with people over the merits of mayo. You think it’s a watery, flavorless, overrated condiment that has no business being anywhere near a sandwich, let alone in potato salad or on a burger. And don’t even get you started on those who dip their french fries in mayo. Mayo is the worst and you will never understand why people like it.
    You think mayo haters are missing out.
  19. The mere sight of mayo makes you want to vomit.
  20. You can’t even stand the smell of it.
  21. You have no idea how anyone can actually enjoy the taste of mayo.
  22. To you, mayo is nothing but a gross, slimy, and tasteless condiment.
  23. You can’t understand why anyone would want to ruin perfectly good food by adding mayo to it.
  24. In your opinion, mayo is the worst thing that has ever been invented.
  25. You would never dream of eating a sandwich or burger with mayo on it.
  26. Mayo haters are definitely not missing out on anything good!
    You’ve been asked to “just try a little bit” of mayo.
  27. You’ve been asked to “just try a little bit” of mayo.
  28. You’ve had to explain, multiple times, that no, you don’t just not like mayo, you hate it.
  29. You can’t even bring yourself to touch a jar of the stuff, let alone eat it.
  30. The smell of mayo makes you want to vomit.
  31. You have no idea how people can eat mayonnaise straight from the jar.
  32. The thought of mayonnaise on anything makes your skin crawl.
  33. When someone puts mayonnaise on your food without asking, you have to stop yourself from gagging.
  34. People always assume that you must like Miracle Whip because it’s “just like mayo but better.”
  35. But you hate Miracle Whip just as much as you hate mayo.
  36. In fact, all condiments give you the heebie jeebies.
  37. Except ketchup, mustard, and BBQ sauce, which are fine in moderation.
  38. You know full well that mayo is basically just an emulsification of egg yolks and oil, but that doesn’t make it any less gross to you.
  39. The texture of mayonnaise is what really grosses you out – it’s like slime!
  40. Even non-mayonnaise products that contain mayonnaise gross you out (looking at you, Caesar dressing).
    15.* Mayonnaise haters unite! *
    You know that mayo is an acquired taste.

    If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve never liked mayo. In fact, you probably hate it. And that’s OK! You’re not alone. There are plenty of people out there who can’t stand the stuff.

Here are 23 things you’ll only understand if you fucking hate mayo:

  1. The mere sight of it makes your stomach turn.
  2. You can’t even bring yourself to say the word “mayo” without gagging a little bit.
  3. The smell of it is enough to make you want to vomit.
  4. You would rather eat dirt than put mayo on your food.
  5. Whenever someone mentions that they like mayo, you judged them silently (or not so silently).
  6. You have no idea how anyone can stomach the stuff.
  7. The thought of having to eat a sandwich with mayo makes you want to cry.
  8. In your opinion, anyone who likes mayo must be a little bit crazy.
  9. You have never understood the appeal of mayonnaise and you never will.
  10. Whenever you see someone eating something with mayo, you can’t help but feel a little bit disgusted.
  11. Even the thought of touching mayonnaise makes your skin crawl.
  12. You would rather go hungry than eat something that has been tainted by mayo.
    13.”Mayonnaise” is not even a real word as far as you’re concerned (it’s “miracle whip” or nothing).
    14.”Mayo” is one of the worst words in the English language as far as you’re concerned (right up there with “moist”).
    15.”Ew, gross! There’s mayo on my food!” is something you’ve said more times than you can count.
    16.”I’m sorry, I don’t eat anything with mayonnaise” is something you’ve had to tell waiters/waitresses more times than you can count (and they always give you a look like they think you’re lying).
    17.”Do you want me to put some mayonnaise on that?” is something that people ask you all the time, and the answer is always no (no matter what it is).
    18.”Why don’t you just pick the Mayo off?” is something that people have told you more times than you can count (as if that’s somehow an acceptable solution). 19.”It’s not that bad once you get used to it” is something that people have told you about Mayo more times than they should have (and they’re always wrong). 20.”Have yoU tRiEd M ayO?” is something that people love to askyou in a condescending tone of voice, as if YOU are the one with the problem here . 21 . Mayonnaise haters unite!
    You’ve been told to “just try it without mayo.”

    No. Just no. Mayo is vile, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Seriously, what is this stuff even made of? It’s just egg yolks and oil, two things that are perfectly fine on their own but become a disgusting mess when combined.

And don’t even get us started on Miracle Whip.

You know that mayo is the best thing ever.


You are one of the lucky ones. You were born with the ability to appreciate mayo for the delicious, creamy goodness that it is. Most people will never know the joy of a perfectly proportioned mayo sandwich, or the flavor bomb that is mayo on french fries. You are better than them. They will never understand.

  1. The smell of mayo makes you happy.
  2. You have strong feelings about Miracle Whip vs. real mayo.
  3. When someone says they don’t like mayo, you judge them silently (or not so silently).
  4. You would gladly eat a mayo sandwich for every meal if you could.
  5. You’ve been known to sneak spoonfuls of mayo straight from the jar.
  6. Whenever you see a new flavor of mayo, you have to try it immediately.
    7.$20 seems like a lot to spend on a jar of mayo, but you’ll do it anyway because it’s worth it.
  7. When you’re at a restaurant and they don’t have your favorite kind of mayo, you’re disappointed (to say the least).
  8. You’ve considered starting a petition to getmayonnaise declared its own food group (because it is).
    10.’Just Mayo’ is an abomination and you will have none of it.
    11.’Chipotle Mayo’ is basically the best thing that has ever happened to you (next to regular mayo, of course).
    12.’Mayochup’ is also pretty great, even though some people seem to think it’s gross…they’re wrong and you know it.
    13.’Mayonaisse’ is NOT how you spell ‘mayonnaise’ and you will correct anyone who dares to spell it that way in your presence (politely, of course).
    14.’Meyonnaise’ is ALSO not how you spell ‘mayonnaise,’ but at least people who spell it this way are trying…sort of…
    15.(This one actually kind of bugs you.) ‘Mayonnaize’ is just plain wrong and there’s no excuse for spelling it this way ever, under any circumstances…but at least people who spell it this way know that there’s an ‘e’ somewhere in there, so that’s something? Right? RIGHT???
    16.You can never have too much mayo – in fact, the more the better as far as you’re concerned!
    17.’Mayochup’ should really be called ‘mayomix,’ because that’s what it really is – a mix of mayonnaise and ketchup…and nothing else! 18.’Just Mayo’ should really be called something else entirely because it doesn’t contain any eggs (which, as we all know, is one of the key ingredients in true mayonnaise)…so really, what’s even in this stuff??? 19.’Mayochup’ should really be called ‘mayoketchup,’ because that’s what
    You fucking love mayo.
    1.You always have to explain to people that, no, you don’t just not like mayo, you fucking HATE it. 2.You will never, ever understand the allure of mayo. It’s just gross. 3.And don’t even get you started on Miracle Whip. That shit is the devil. 4.When someone offers you a sandwich and says, “I put mayo on it, but I can take it off if you want,” you just stare at them in confusion and say, “Why would you put that on there in the first place?” 5.Every time someone brings a dish to a potluck that has mayo in it, you die a little inside. 6.And then when people start raving about how good that dish is, you want to vomit. 7.People are always shocked when they find out how much you hate mayo because apparently it’s “so good.” 8.They just don’t get it and they never will. 9.You have to be careful when ordering food at restaurants because so many things come with mayo or have mayo in them without you realizing it. 10.Like potato salad… why is there mayo in that?! It’s supposed to be about the potatoes! 11.Or coleslaw… come on, really? Mayo again?! 12.Fries with mayo? Chicken with mayo? No thanks, you’ll pass. 13.Mayonnaise is basically just an excuse to eat raw eggs and we all know how gross raw eggs are… 14.(Seriously, who thought that was a good idea?) 15.(Ew.) 16.(Gross.) 17.(Yuck.) 18.(No thank you.) 19.(I’d rather not experience food poisoning, thank you very much.) 20.(Plus, haven’t we all seen those videos of those huge worms that come out of your nose after eating raw eggs?) 21.(No thanks!) 22.(But seriously though,) 23.( fuck mayo.)

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